THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
