I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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