There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
