Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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