On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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