Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize