if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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