The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
