Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
