Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
