please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
