Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
