If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
