I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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