Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
