You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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