Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
