i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
