I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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