We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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