What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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