ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
