Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Green mimosas i think yes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
