So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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