Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
