Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
