If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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