It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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