Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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