Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
