every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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