explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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