Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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