I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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