remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
