im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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