Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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