It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
