We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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