I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
