dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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