Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ketchup is God's man juice
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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