Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
