this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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