Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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