He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
