i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
