dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
