I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
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the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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