I'm eating all of the evidence.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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