Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
