I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fuck appropriateness.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
