somebody snuck up and got me drunk
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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