...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
