I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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