I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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