I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do vagina's smell?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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