New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize