Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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