Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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(708): View more from Illinois

i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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(713): View more from Texas

I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock

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(727): View more from Florida

Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?

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(434): View more from Virginia

I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"

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