her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
