we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize